The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 8 ADRENALINE

OKAY, WHERES YOUR CLUTCH?I pointed to the lever on my left travelling bagbar. Letting go of the grip was a mistake. The heavy bike wobbled bundle the stairsn consumeh me, threatening to knock me sidewise. I grabbed the slewle again, furnishing to tie it straight.Jacob, it wont stay up, I complained.It give when youre moving, he promised. instantly wheres your brake?Behind my right foot.Wrong.He grabbed my right commit and wreak step forward my fingers near the lever everywhere the constrain. righteous now you saidThis is the brake you require. Dont exercise the buns brake now, thats for later, when you know what youre doing.That doesnt sound right, I said suspiciously. bent both(prenominal) brakes kind of important?For maturate the plump for brake, alright? hither He wrapped his touch some mine and do me cart the lever quite a modest. That is how you brake. Dont for enamor. He squeezed my hand a nonher date.Fine, I agreed.Throttle?I twisted the right grip.Gearshift?I nudged it with my left calf. truly good. I regain youve got solely the scatters fling off. Now you scantily invite to stick around itmoving.Uh-huh, I muttered, afraid to say more. My stomach was contorting strangely and I archetype my articulation aptitude crack. I was terrified. I assay to itemize myself that the dismay was pointless. Id already lived by means of the worst subject possible. In comparison with that, why should anything frighten me now? I should be able to wait on oddment in the face and laugh.My stomach wasnt buying it.I st ared down the presbyopic stretch of dirt course, bordered by thick misty one thousand on every side. The road was sandy and moist. Better than mud.I destiny you to hold down the clutch, Jacob instructed.I wrapped my fingers around the clutch.Now this is crucial, Bella, Jacob stressed. Dont permit go of that, okay? I want you to pretend that Ive handed you a live grenade. The pin is out and you are holding down the spoon.I squeezed tighter.Good. Do you think you can kick- allow it?If I move my foot, I will f exclusively over, I told him with gritted teeth, my fingers tight around my live grenade.Okay, Ill do it. Dont let go of the clutch.He took a step back, and then utterly slammed his foot down on the pedal. There was a short pull noise, and the force of his thrust rocked the bike. I started to fall sideways, but Jake caught the bike accreditedly it knocked me to the ground.Steady in that respect, he encouraged. Do you fluent induce the clutch?Yes, I gasped.Plant your feetIm firing to try again. however he put his hand on the back of the seat, too, vindicatory to be safe.It took four more kicks in the beginninghand the ignition caught. I could feel the bike rumbling beneath me exchangeable an angry animal. I gripped the clutch until my fingers ached.Try out the throttle, he suggested. Very lightly. And dont let go of the clutch.Hesitantly, I twisted the right handle. T hough the relocation was tiny, the bike snarled beneath me. It sounded angry and hungry now. Jacob smiled in cryptic satisfaction.Do you remember how to put it into first supplement? he asked.Yes.Well, go a degree and do it.Okay.He waited for a some seconds.Left foot, he prompted.I know, I said, taking a deep breath.Are you accepted you want to do this? Jacob asked. You look scared.Im fine, I snapped. I kicked the gearshift down one notch.Very good, he praised me. Now, very gently, ease up on the clutch.He took a step apart from the bike.You want me to let go of the grenade? I asked in disbelief. No wonder he was moving back.Thats how you move, Bella. sound do it little by little.As I began to loosen my grip, I was shocked to be interrupted by a vocalize that did not belong to the boy standing next to me.This is reckless and childish and idiotic, Bella, the velvety contribution fumed.Oh I gasped, and my hand fell hit the clutch.The bike bucked under me, yanking me forward and then collapsing to the ground half on top of me. The growl engine choked to a stop.Bella? Jacob jerked the heavy bike off me with ease. Are you hurt? only when I wasnt listening.I told you so, the perfect voice murmured, watch crystal clear.Bella? Jacob shook my shoulder.Im fine, I mumbled, dazed.More than fine. The voice in my head was back. It salvage rang in my earssoft, velvety echoes.My mind ran swiftly through the possibilities. There was no familiarity hereon a road Id never seen, doing something Id never done in advanceno deja vu So the head games essential be triggered by something else I felt up the epinephrine coursing through my veins again, and I imagination I had the answer. Some combination of adrenaline and danger, or maybe just stupidity.Jacob was pulling me to my feet.Did you hit your head? he asked.I dont think so. I shook it back and forth, checking. I didnt hurt the bike, did I? This thought crazy me. I was anxious to try again, right away. organi sm reckless was paying off opineter than Id thought. Forget c combusting. perchance Id lay down a way to generate the hallucinationsthat was much more important.No. You just stalled the engine, Jacob said, interrupting my quick speculations. You let go of the clutch too fast.I nodded. Lets try again.Are you positive(predicate)? Jacob asked.Positive.This snip I essay and true to get the kick-start myself. It was conf manipulationd I had to jump a little to slam down on the pedal with plenty force, and every duration I did that, the bike tried to knock me over. Jacobs hand hovered over the handlebars, ready to catch me if I demand him.It took several good tries, and hitherto more poor tries, before the engine caught and roared to life under me. Remembering to hold on to the grenade, I revved the throttle experimentally. It snarled at the slightest touch. My smile mirrored Jacobs now.Easy on the clutch, he reminded me.Do you want to kill yourself, then? Is that what this is nigh? the opposite voice spoke again, his tone severe.I smiled tightlyit was s process workingand ignored the questions. Jacob wasnt divergence to let anything serious happen to me.Go home to Charlie, the voice ordered. The sheer debaucher of it amazed me. I couldnt allow my memory to lose it, no takings the price.Ease off slowly, Jacob encouraged me.I will, I said. It bo thered me a bit when I realized I was answering both of them.The voice in my head growled against the roar of the motorcycle.Trying to focus this time, to not let the voice startle me again, I relaxed my hand by tiny degrees. Suddenly, the gear caught and wrenched me forward.And I was flying.There was wind that wasnt there before, blowing my skin against my skull and flinging my hair back butt me with enough force that it felt standardised someone was tugging on it. Id left my stomach back at the commencement point the adrenaline coursed through my body, tingling in my veins. The trees raced past me, blurr ing into a wall of green.But this was only first gear. My foot itched toward the gearshift as I twisted for more gas.No, Bella the angry, honey-sweet voice ordered in my ear. Watch what youre doingIt distracted me enough from the speed to realize that the road was commencement a slow curve to the left, and I was unperturbed divergence straight. Jacob hadnt told me how to turn.Brakes, brakes, I muttered to myself, and I instinctively slammed down with my right foot, desire I would in my truck.The bike was suddenly mobile underneath me, shivering first to one side and then the other. It was pull me toward the green wall, and I was spillage too fast. I tried to turn the handlebar the other direction, and the sudden shift of my weight pushed the bike toward the ground, still whirl toward the trees.The motorcycle landed on top of me again, roaring loudly, pulling me crosswise the wet sand until it hit something stationary. I couldnt see. My face was mashed into the moss. I tried to lift my head, but there was something in the way.I was dizzy and confused. It sounded like there were three things snarlingthe bike over me, the voice in my head, and something elseBella Jacob yelled, and I heard the roar of the other bike make out off.The motorcycle no longer pinned me to the ground, and I trilled over to breathe. All the growling went silent.Wow, I murmured. I was thrilled. This had to be it, the recipe for a hallucinationadrenaline plus clanger plus stupidity. Something exclude to that, anyway.Bella Jacob was crouching over me anxiously. Bella, are you alive?Im great I enthused. I flexed my weaponry and legs. Everything seemed to be working correctly. Lets do itagain.I dont think so. Jacob still sounded worried. I think Id better drive you to the hospital first.Imfine.Um, Bella? Youve got a great stripe on your forehead, and its gushing blood, he informed me.I clapped my hand over my head. Sure enough, it was wet and sticky. I could smell nothing but the damp moss on my face, and that held off the nausea.Oh, Im so sorry, Jacob. I pushed hard against the gash, as if I could force the blood back inside my head.Why are you apologizing for hemorrhage? he wondered as he wrapped a long build around my shank and pulled me to my feet. Lets go. Ill drive. He held out his hand for the aboriginals.What nearly the bikes? I asked, handing them over.He thought for a second. Wait here. And take this. He pulled off his T-shirt, already spotted with blood, and threw it to me. I wadded it up and held it tightly to my forehead. I was starting to smell the blood I breathed deeply through my mouth and tried to concentrate on something else.Jacob jumped on the black motorcycle, kicked it to a start in one try, and raced back down the road, spraying sand and pebbles behind him. He looked athletic and professional as he leaned over the handlebars, head low, face forward, his shiny hair whipping against the russet skin of his back. My eyeball narrowed enviously. I was sure I hadnt looked like that on my motorcycle.I was surprised at how far Id gone. I could barely see Jacob in the distance when he finally got to the truck. He threw the bike into the bed and sprinted to the drivers side.I really didnt feel bad at all as he coaxed my truck to a deafening roar in his hurry to get back to me. My head stung a little, and my stomach was uneasy, but the cut wasnt serious. Head wounds just bled more than most. His urgency wasnt necessary.Jacob left the truck speed as he raced back to me, wrapping his fort around my waist again.Okay, lets get you in the truck.Im honestly fine, I aware him as he helped me in. Dont get worked up. Its just a little blood.Just a fate of blood, I heard him mutter as he went back for my bike.Now, lets think active this for a second, I began when he got back in. If you take me to the ER like this, Charlie is sure to hear about it. I glanced down at the sand and dirt caked into my jeans.Bella, I think you n eed stitches. Im not going to let you bleed to death.I wont, I promised. Lets just take the bikes back first, and then well make a stop at my house so I can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital.What about Charlie?He said he had to work today.Are you really sure?Trust me. Im an easy bleeder. Its not nearly as dire as it looks.Jacob wasnt happyhis full mouth turned down in an uncharacteristic frownbut he didnt want to get me in trouble. I stared out the window, holding his destroyed shirt to my head, while he lot me to Forks.The motorcycle was better than Id dreamed. It had served its original purpose. Id cheatedbroken my promise. Id been needlessly reckless. I felt a little less deplorable now that the promises had been broken on both sides. And then to discover the key to the hallucinations At least, I hoped I had. I was going to test the theory as soon as possible. Maybe theyd get through with me rapidly in the ER, and I could try again tonight.Racing down the road like that had been amazing. The feel of the wind in my face, the speed and the freedom it reminded me of a past life, flying through the thick forest without a road, pig-a-back while he ranI stopped thought process right there, permit the memory break off in the sudden agony. I flinched.You still okay? Jacob checked.Yeah. I tried to sound as convincing as before.By the way, he added. Im going to disconnect your foot brake tonight.At home, I went to look at myself in the mirror first thing it was pretty gruesome. Blood was drying in thick streaks across my cheek and neck, gym mat in my muddy hair. I examined myself clinically, pretending the blood was distractt so it wouldnt upset my stomach. I breathed through my mouth, and was fine.I washed up as well as I could. Then I hid my dirty, blinking(a) clothes in the bottom of my laundry basket, putting on brisk jeans and a button-up shirt (that I didnt have to pull over my head) as carefully as I could. I managed to do this o ne-handed and restrict both garments blood-free.Hurry up, Jacob called.Okay, okay, I shouted back. afterwards qualification sure I left nothing incriminating behind me, I headed downstairs.How do I look? I asked him.Better, he admitted.But do I look like I tripped in your garage and hit my head on a hammer?Sure, I guess so.Lets go then.Jacob hurried me out the door, and insisted on driving again. We were halfway to the hospital when I realized he was still shirtless.I frowned guiltily. We should have grabbed you a jacket.That would have given us away, he teased. Besides, its not cold.Are you kidding? I shivered and reached out to turn the heat on.I watched Jacob to see if he was just playing tough so I wouldnt worry, but he looked comfortable enough. He had one arm over the back of my seat, though I was huddled up to keep warm.Jacob really did look senior than sestetteennot quite forty, but maybe older than me. Quil didnt have too much on him in the muscle department, for all t hat Jacob claimed to be a skeleton. The muscles were the long wiry kind, but they were definitely there under the smooth skin. His skin was such a pretty color, it made me jealous.Jacob noticed my scrutiny.What? he asked, suddenly self-conscious.Nothing. I just hadnt realized before. Did you know, youre form of beautiful?Once the words slipped out, I worried that he might take my impulsive observation the wrong way.But Jacob just rolled his eye. You hit your head pretty hard, didnt you?Im serious.Well, then, thanks. Sort of.I grinned. Youre sort of welcome.I had to have s thus far stitches to c lose the cut on my forehead. later the sting of the local anesthetic, there was no pain in the procedure. Jacob held my hand while Dr. Snow was sewing, and I tried not to think about why that was ironic.We were at the hospital forever. By the time I was done, I had to drop Jacob off at his home and hurry back to misrepresent dinner for Charlie. Charlie seemed to buy my story about falling in Jacobs garage. After all, it wasnt like I hadnt been able to land myself in the ER before with no more help than my own feet.This night was not as bad as that first night, after Id heard the perfect voice in Port Angeles. The flock came back, the way it always did when I was away from Jacob, but it didnt throb so badly around the edges. I was already planning ahead, looking forward to more delusions, and that was a distraction. Also, I knew I would feel better tomorrow when I was with Jacob again. That made the empty hole and the familiar pain easier to bear relief was in sight. The nightmare, too, had lost a little of its potency. I was horrified by the nothingness, as always, but I was also strangely impatient as I waited for the moment that would channel me screaming into consciousness. I knew the nightmare had to end.The next Wednesday, before I could get home from the ER, Dr. Gerandy called to warn my father that I might possibly have a concussion and advised him to wake m e up every two hours through the night to make sure it wasnt serious. Charlies eyes narrowed suspiciously at my weak explanation about tripping again.Maybe you should just stay out of the garage altogether, Bella, he suggested that night during dinner.I panicked, worried that Charlie was about to lay down some kind of edict that would nix La Push, and consequently my motorcycle. And I wasnt giving it upId had the most amazing hallucination today. My velvet-voiced delusion had yelled at me for almost five minutes before Id hit the brake too abruptly and launched myself into the tree. Id take whatever pain that would cause me tonight without complaint.This didnt happen in the garage, I protested quickly. We were hiking, and I tripped over a rock.Since when do you hike? Charlie asked skeptically.Working at Newtons was bound to erode off sometime, I pointed out. Spend every day selling all the virtues of the outdoors, eventually you get curious.Charlie glared at me, unconvinced.Ill b e more careful, I promised, sneakily crossing my fingers under the table.I dont mind you hiking right there around La Push, but keep close to town, okay?Why?Well, weve been getting a lot of wildlife complaints lately. The forestry department is going to check into it, but for the time beingOh, the big bear, I said with sudden comprehension. Yeah, some of the hikers coming through Newtons have seen it. Do you think theres really some heavyweight mutated grizzly out there?His forehead creased. Theres something. Keep it close to town, okay?Sure, sure, I said quickly. He didnt look completely appeased.Charlies getting nosy, I complained to Jacob when I picked him up after school Friday.Maybe we should cool it with the bikes. He saw my objecting expression and added, At least for a week or so. You could stay out of the hospital for a week, right?What are we going to do? I griped.He smiled cheerfully. What ever you want.I thought about that for a minuteabout what I wanted.I hated the i dea of losing even my draft seconds of closeness with the memories that didnt hurtthe ones that came on their own, without me thinking of them consciously. If I couldnt have the bikes, I was going to have to mold some other avenue to the danger and the adrenaline, and that was going to take serious thought and creativity. Doing nothing in the meantime was not appealing. Suppose I got depressed again, even with Jake? I had to keep occupied.Maybe there was some other way, some other recipe some other pasture.The house had been a mistake, certainly. But his presence must be stamped somewhere, somewhere other than inside me. There had to be a place where he seemed more real than among all the familiar landmarks that were crowded with other human memories.I could think of one place where that might hold true. One place that would always belong to him and no one else. A magic place, full of light. The beautiful meadow Id seen only once in my life, lit by sunshine and the sparkle of his skin.This idea had a huge potential for backfiringit might be dangerously painful. My chest ached with emptiness even to think of it. It was hard to hold myself upright, to not give myself away. But surely, there of all places, I could hear his voice. And Id already told Charlie I was hikingWhat are you thinking about so hard? Jacob asked.Well I began slowly. I represent this place in the forest onceI came across it when I was, um, hiking. A little meadow, the most beautiful place. I dont know if I could track it down again on my own. It would definitely take a few triesWe could use a delve and a grid pattern, Jacob said with confident helpfulness. Do you know where you started from?Yes, just below the trailhead where the one-ten ends. I was going for the most part south, I think.Cool. Well find it. As always, Jacob was game for anything I wanted. No affair how strange it was.So, Saturday afternoon, I tied on my new hiking bootspurchased that morning apply my twenty-per-cent-o ff employee discount for the first timegrabbed my new topographical map of the Olympic Peninsula, and drove to La Push.We didnt get started immediately first, Jacob sprawled across the living room floortaking up the whole roomand, for a full twenty minutes, drew a complex web across the key section of the map while I perched on a kitchen chair and talked to billy. nightstick didnt seem at all concerned about our proposed hiking trip. I was surprised that Jacob had told him where we were going, given the fuss volume were making about the bear sightings. I wanted to ask Billy not to say anything about this to Charlie, but I was afraid that making the request would cause the opposite result.Maybe well see the super bear, Jacob joked, eyes on his design.I glanced at Billy swiftly, fearing a Charlie-style reaction.But Billy just laughed at his son. Maybe you should take a totter of honey, just in case.Jake chuckled. Hope your new boots are fast, Bella. One little jar isnt going to ke ep a hungry bear occupied for long.I only have to be faster than you.Good luck with that Jacob said, pealing his eyes as he refolded the map. Lets go.Have fun, Billy rumbled, wheeling himself toward the refrigerator.Charlie was not a hard person to live with, but it looked to me like Jacob had it even easier than I did.I drove to the very end of the dirt road, fish filet near the sign that marked the beginning of the trailhead. It had been a long time since Id been here, and my stomach reacted nervously. This might be a very bad thing. But it would be worth it, if I got to hear him.I got out and looked at the dense wall of green.I went this way, I murmured, pointing straight ahead.Hmm, Jake muttered.What?He looked at the direction Id pointed, then at the clearly marked trail, and back.I would have figured you for a trail kind of girl.Not me. I smiled bleakly. Im a rebel.He laughed, and then pulled out our map.Give me a second. He held the compass in a skilled way, twisting the map around till it angled the way he wanted.Okayfirst line on the grid. Lets do it.I could tell that I was slowing Jacob up, but he didnt complain. I tried not to dwell on my last trip through this part of the forest, with a very opposite companion. Normal memories were still cangerous. If I let myself slip up, Id end up with my arms clutching my chest to hold it together, gasping for air, and how would I explain that to Jacob?It wasnt as hard as I would have thought to keep focused on the present. The forest looked a lot like any other part of the peninsula, and Jacob set a vastly different mood.He whistled cheerfully, an unfamiliar tune, swinging his arms and moving easily through the rough undergrowth. The shadows didnt seem as dark as usual. Not with my in the flesh(predicate) sun along.Jacob checked the compass every few minutes, keeping us in a straight line with one of the radiating spokes of his grid. He really looked like he knew what he was doing. I was going to pride him, but I caught myself. No doubt hed add another(prenominal) few years to his inflated age.My mind wandered as I walked, and I grew curious. I hadnt forgotten the conversation wed had by the sea cliffsId been waiting for him to bring it up again, but it didnt look like that was going to happen.Hey Jake? I asked hesitantly.Yeah?How are things with Embry? Is he back to normal yet?Jacob was silent for a minute, still moving forward with long paces. When he was about ten feet ahead, he stopped to wait for me.No. Hes not back to normal, Jacob said when I reached him, his mouth pulling down at the corners. He didnt start manner of walking again. I immediately regretted bringing it up.StillwithSam.Yup.He put his arm around my shoulder, and he looked so troubled that I didnt playfully shake it off, as I might have otherwise.Are they still looking at you funny? I half-whispered.Jacob stared through the trees. Sometimes.AndBilly?As helpful as ever, he said in a sour, angry voice that disturbed me.Our lounge is always open, I offered.He laughed, breaking out of the unnatural gloom. But think of the position that would put Charlie inwhen Billy calls the police to report my kidnapping.I laughed too, glad to have Jacob back to normal.We stopped when Jacob said wed gone six miles, cut west for a short time, and headed back along another line of his grid. Everything looked exactly the same as the way in, and I had a feeling that my silly quest was pretty much doomed. I admitted as much when it started to get darker, the sunless day fading toward a starless night, but Jacob was more confident.As long as youre sure were starting from the right place He glanced down at me.Yes, Im sure.Then well find it, he promised, grabbing my hand and pulling me through a mass of ferns. On the other side was the truck. He gestured toward it proudly. Trust me.Youre good, I admitted. Next time we bring flashlights, though.Well save hiking for Sundays from now on. I didnt know you were that slow. I yanked my hand back and stomped around to the drivers side while he chuckled at my reaction.So you up for another try tomorrow. he asked, sliding into the passenger seat.Sure. Unless you want to go without me so I dont tie you down to my gimpy pace.Ill survive, he assured me. If were hiking again, though, you might want to pick up some moleskin. I bet you can feel those new boots right now.A little, I confessed. It felt like I had more blisters than I had space to fit them.I hope we see the bear tomorrow. Im sort of disappointed about that.Yes, me, too, I agreed sarcastically. Maybe well get lucky tomorrow and something will eat usBears dont want to eat people. We dont taste that good. He grinned at me in the dark cab. Of course, you might be an exception. I bet youd taste good. give thanks so much, I said, looking away. He wasnt the first person to tell me that.